Open Your Eyes, Your Ears, Your Heart.

I’ve been feeling a little over-sappy these last few days – and I blame it on my reading material. Not that it’s BAD reading material – it’s actually really AMAZING reading material. I just finished up Start Something That Matters by Blake Mycoskie, the founder and Chief Shoe Giver of TOMS. In the first chapter of this book, I was in tears. I was sitting at Panera on my lunch and was damn near crying into my broccoli cheddar soup. But I pulled it together and continued reading one of the BEST books I’ve read to date. Even if you aren’t thinking about starting a business, read this book. It speaks to the heart, from the heart – and will ABSOLUTELY make you a better person in all aspects of life. While finishing this book up on a rainy Sunday afternoon, I began a list. New goals and different thoughts to make myself better. (List to come later.) I’m also trying to figure out how I can go with the TOMS crew to a shoe drop. The emotion from those doing the shoe drop to those receiving the shoes, has got to be the strongest, most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard of. Can you imagine receiving your first pair of shoes? The feeling of gratitude, happiness, excitement – all built into one overwhelming sense of, I don’t even know – being? And can you imagine how you would feel when you gave someone their first pair of shoes? I would immediately burst into tears. As emotional as I can get, I know I’d be a sobbing mess. But I would be so unbelievably HAPPY while doing it. Makes sense right? Bawling my eyes out with a HUGE smile on my face. I’m researching to figure out how I can make this happen.

I’m also in the process of finishing up our book club read for this month – The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. This book has been on my reading list for literally YEARS and I just haven’t picked it up to read. So after hosting last month’s meeting, I figured – why not? I haven’t read it yet and really – who DOESN’T want to be happier? I wasn’t sure it would lead to a personal increased happiness level, but I could try. Reading makes me happy, so why not read a book about being happy to make me HAPPIER. So much happy in one place! Like I’d said before, it makes me want to begin my own happiness project. When I get some free time (whatever that means) I’m going to sit down and really think about what I want to improve. What can make ME happier. Don’t get me wrong – I’m VERY happy. But I want to be MORE happy. Reading this book made me open my eyes to things that I’m currently doing which bring down my happiness level. I snap too quickly, get angry at things beyond my control, gossip, skip workouts, eat crappy, don’t sleep enough, have clutter – all things that I can change MYSELF. So I will set out to fix those. Get happier.

With Earth Day coming up next week, I did a lot of thinking about “being green.” My company is a “green company” so 95% of everything we do in the office is done electronically. We hardly go through printer paper, we use plastic plates and cups and wash them in the dishwasher, and we recycle. So then I started thinking about my own life. I’m pretty terrible at being green. I grew up recycling and riding my bike and roller blading everywhere. As I got older, it was just EASIER to throw stuff away so I wouldn’t have to deal with it – and then I could drive, so I did. And really – it makes me feel like an ass hole. I realize I’m not single-handedly RUINING this Earth, but I’m sure not helping it any by throwing away everything. And really – I have no excuse. We have recycling bins at our building. The places I workout are within WALKING distance of where I live. If I need to pick up something quick from the store, I can WALK there. I could probably walk/run to Gray’s Lake and hang out for the day. And that sounds like an awesome idea once it gets warmer (consistently.) But a lot of times, I just don’t do any of those. So while I was having my mini-epiphany on a dreary day, I came up with a few things I wanted to improve on in the upcoming couple months. Not everything has to do with my “being green” but it does have ideas for ways to improve ME.

• Recycle
• Donate
• Volunteer
• Be outdoorsy (more than just drinking on patios)
• 5 minute clean up (before work and before bed)
• Walk more
• Be informed (less Facebook, more Des Moines Register)
• Shop local
• Be better
• Be a “yes man” (lady)

Some of these are minor and some are major. I don’t want to be an uninformed person who throws away bottles instead of recycling them, who drives to workout. I want to be BETTER. I want to donate things, time, services. I want to spend time outside – camping, hiking, relaxing. And I have faith, dear readers, that you’ll be able to help me in my future endeavors. And this is where you come in. Suggestions. I want your opinions. What do you do in your free time to better yourself? Where do you volunteer? What articles should I read so I know more about what is going on in this place? Where do you buy your groceries/gifts/clothing that’s a local shop, not a chain? Need a partner in crime for something? YES I’ll do it with you. Des Moines is a wonderful, amazing place. There’s so much to do and so much to see. I love it here, more than I ever thought I would. The music, the food, and the sights. The PEOPLE, the activities, and the atmosphere. Help me enjoy it MORE.

“Do it with passion or not at all.”

“If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking.” – Steve Jobs

“Be bold enough to use your voice, brave enough to listen to your heart, and strong enough to live the life you’ve always imagined.” 

I’m ready. Are you?

Open your ears, your eyes, your heart.

S

Never Stop Smiling.

Today is a good day. Not one reason in particular… but just in general. Today is a great day. Maybe because it’s Friday, and because the sun is shining, and because I get to see friends tomorrow I haven’t seen in a while and because my friends are getting married tomorrow or maybe because I get to play old school arcade games tomorrow night. Maybe it’s all of the above. Maybe it’s because I’m listening to music that reminds me of college and that makes me happy. So many reasons today is a good day. 

I woke up in a good mood today – which is always a good thing. The sun was shining and a warm-ish breeze was coming through the open window. I was ready to tackle the day. I left for work earlier than I had all week and stopped for a Skinny Vanilla Latte (supposed to be a macchiato but who really knows the difference) and made it in with plenty of time to spare. After answering emails and checking in with people I took a good look outside. It’s gorgeous out. And then after lunch I had errands to run and headed out into the warm sunshine. Do you know how hard it was to come back to work after that? I was getting warm in my car from the sun shining in, and my hair was getting messed up from the wind since I had the windows down. It was blissful. If I didn’t have to work tonight, I may have played hooky the rest of the day. Maybe. I could just picture myself out on a patio somewhere, with a cold beer in my hand – soaking up the sun while I finish up The Happiness Project. (The more I think about this, the more I just want to peace out right now.)

While I was sitting here daydreaming about summer nights, I got more and more excited. I have so many things that I’m looking forward to in the upcoming months. I’m looking forward to simple things like breakfast burritos and chocolate beers at the Farmer’s Market. I can’t wait until yoga in the park begins and I can ohm it out in nature. I want a sunburn. I want to sit out on a patio and grill. I want to sit next to a fire pit next to a lake and just be. I am surprisingly excited for the two upcoming races I have. I’m overwhelmed with excitement for Wanderlust – where I will be in touch with my inner hippie. I want outdoor concerts and all the crazy that comes with them. I want to sleep with the windows open and wake up when the sun comes up and stay out late and enjoy EVERYTHING.

“Take a deep breath and enjoy your LIFE.”

I want to camp. I want to sleep on the ground and eat s’mores and cook hot dogs over the fire. I want to go wine tasting and try to golf. I want to earn my tan lines and read lots of books. I want to practice postures until they’re the best I can make them – and try new foods, because I am a grown up. I don’t ever want to stop smiling.

“Attract what you expect, reflect what you desire, become what you respect, mirror what you admire.”

I’m just really looking forward to the upcoming positive, new experiences. Some won’t be new, but all will make me a better… me. And that’s all I want right now. Happiness. Pure and simple.

“If you want to be happy, be.”

The end. For today. Enjoy it.

S

Stop and Look -

**Disclaimer: The first portion of this post is going to be negative. If you don’t want to read about me being a crybaby, Negative Nancy… please skip ahead to paragraph 3** Not usually how I roll – but it’s happening. I’m a little mad at myself. First of all – I haven’t posted since March – and it’s now almost mid-April. That’s annoying. I’ve got time to do this – so why don’t I just freaking do it? Because I just don’t. Second of all – I’m mad at myself about the #whole30. I was SO HAPPY to be done with it, that instead of slowly easing my way back into eating normal foods, I just dove head first into EVERYTHING I used to eat. And I apparently forgot what portion control was. I’m eating like crap, I’m drinking pop, I’m eating candy and other sweets like I’m dying tomorrow, and I feel like GARBAGE. I’m eating too late (I’ve been busy also), and eating TOO MUCH too late. I’m waking up in the middle of the night, I’m having weird dreams. I’m barely going to yoga/working out, I’m not drinking NEARLY enough water. I’m making excuses for EVERYTHING. And I really don’t like it.

I think part of the reason that it’s making me so upset, is because I’m currently reading The Happiness Project – our book club read for the month – and everything I read in there, I think that I NEED TO DO IT. I want to start my own happiness project, because at this very point in my life – I am making choices that are upsetting me. And no one wants that. Don’t get me wrong – I am VERY happy with the majority of my life. I love my job (albeit crazy sometimes), I love my friends and family, I love my new living situation and love my roommate so much. I love that I’m going to be trying new things this summer and expanding my horizons with music, yoga, adult beverages. But RIGHT NOW, I’m a crabby bitch. I looked at myself in the morning today and was totally appalled at the GIANT bags under my eyes. Plus – my skin is breaking out, I feel “dull” and not “bright” when looking at my complexion, my lovely muffin top has returned. And it really pisses me off because literally I am the ONLY one in charge of me. I am the one that is making me feel that way. and I am the one who needs to change it.

**Paragraph 3** Let’s get back to the happy and fun stuff. Like I said – book club! This book is amazing and I love reading it. I’m also in the process of reading Start Something That Matters with a girl who I work with (who works in our corporate office) and we have a deadline of Friday to finish it up so we can discuss. I like being able to discuss books with so many people. My book club is one of my FAVORITE things ever… and I’m so glad our small group is growing! Our first four person meeting was awesome… we ended up staying WAY later than planned but had such good chats – about the book, about each other, about wine – everything. Our group has FOR SURE changed in the last year and some months… and I couldn’t be happier about it.

Wedding season is upon us, and has been for about a month now! The first bachelorette party of the season was the weekend after I finished up my #whole30 and I was a super lightweight. And I stole Doritos from the hotel room (sorry about that girls) but it was definitely a lot of fun. Then I had bridal showers two weekends in a row. And this weekend is the first wedding of the season! I’m so excited to see all my friends getting married to the loves of their lives. It makes me very happy. I’ve got a break on wedding festivities until May when I’ve got an empty weekend, then a bachelorette party (baseball, beer and bachelorettes anyone?), then a weekend off, then a Memorial Day Weekend bachelorette party, and then wedding number 2 the following weekend. And then a few weeks, and then wedding number 3. And then I’m done with weddings! I don’t mind all those being shoved into a few months, they’re amazing and exhausting all at the same time. I’ll need some recovery time.

The possible highlight of my summer comes in July. Why you ask? Multiple reasons. First off: a road trip to Colorado. Second: a yoga retreat. Third: A ROAD TRIP TO COLORADO FOR A YOGA RETREAT! Driving 13 hours has never sounded so fun! I’ve never been to Colorado when there wasn’t snow on the ground, and I’m SO EXCITED to see how gorgeous it looks in the summer. A full day of driving to Aspen, followed by four days of yoga, concerts, hikes, meditation and I don’t even know what else, and then another 13 hour drive home. Totes worth it. I’m ready to let my inner-hippie out to play. My idea was to camp while we were there too, but my roomie would much rather sleep in a bed and shower after all that outdoor activity. Who knew I was such a bad ass? The planning stages begin this week – and then I still have to wait for 3 months to go! So unfair. This is something that I don’t think I would have ever done. Spend 4 days with people I’ve never met, doing something I like to do? Yeah – no. I’d rather not. I’m so excited to step outside my comfort zone.

“Great things never came from comfort zones.”

I’d like to apologize for being crabby earlier… but it’s just taken a few things to trigger that annoyance, unhappiness, grouchiness. And it’s only ME that can change the way I feel. I’m going for a run after work today with my running buddy. We’ll talk and laugh and try not to die – but I guarantee that when I’m done with my two laps at Gray’s Lake, I’ll feel better. I’ll be in a better mood. I’ll be smiling. It’s so simple the way a little bit of exercise can put you in a better mood. And that’s just the start.

“Always find time for the things that make you feel happy to be alive.”

Peace out everybody – remember, YOU are the only one to make YOU happy.

Stop and Look,

S

Be Better

Well – I did it. I completed the #whole30 challenge. I didn’t die. I felt better. I still haven’t weighed myself or done any measurements, but I’m okay with that. My clothes fit better and so do my workout clothes. You know it’s time to start trimming down a little when your spandex-filled workout clothes make you look and feel pretty terrible about yourself. Nice little shock to the system when you put on some yoga clothes and you don’t have a muffin top. I mean – that’s FULL of spandex. And when you look at yourself in the mirror and think “damn… I am really pulling off this Lulu outfit” then you know SOMETHING has been working. 

Last Wednesday was Day 30… and thinking about it right now – I have no recollection of what I ate. That’s pretty terrible. It was probably eggs of some sort… probably some sweet potatoes. Maybe some chicken. Who knows. Clearly it wasn’t THAT amazing because a) I don’t remember, and b) I didn’t take a picture of it. Bummer dude. But on Thursday – I was FREE. I could eat whatever I wanted! Well – kind of. I was trying to follow the reintroduction as closely as I could, I really did want to find out what agreed with me and what made me feel miserable. So what did I eat on Day 31? I had peanut butter with my apple for breakfast. And it was AMAZING. I know that peanut butter isn’t awesome for you… and I really do like almond butter… but it was just something that I hadn’t been able to eat and I wanted it. Hard. Lunch was uneventful – leftover jambalaya from my Fat Tuesday meal (all #whole30 inspired – with cauliflower “rice” also). I don’t remember what I ate for dinner… but I do know that I had beer. And DAMN was it delicious. I went a little overboard with my first night back drinking after 30 days and woke up with a hangover. How embarrassing. I was a passenger on the struggle bus for most of the day – I stuck with water all day and had half a Monte Cristo and salad for lunch (had a bit of a stomach ache after that fried business) and then Friday night was our 20/30 challenge at the yoga studio. (More on that later). There was snacks and such after class, and the only thing I strayed from as far as my #whole30 went, was the cookies. And I had three of them. But they were from La Mie and they had toffee and caramel in them. I could have eaten 15 more if they were there. 

So let’s get back to my other 30 day challenge – 20/30 for yoga classes. Here’s what happened. I didn’t make it. I didn’t complete 20 classes. And I’m actually REALLY upset about it. There is literally NO REASON why I didn’t complete this challenge. And it’s not like I missed it by 5 classes. I missed it by ONE. My 19^th class was at the party – with 150 other yogis. And there were people who completed MORE THAN 30 classes and I couldn’t complete 20. It’s my own fault, I know it is. I’m just upset about it. It was something I wanted to do – for me – and I didn’t do it. Yoga puts me in a good mood. And there were days I just didn’t want to go. And that makes me grumpy. (See the cycle developing here?) And now – I haven’t taken class since Sunday when my favorite yogi taught. And again – it makes me mad. Here’s what it comes down to – getting my lazy ass to the studio. One is within walking distance, one is close to my work, and another will be opening later in the year close to where my parents live. So literally – NO EXCUSE. Why wouldn’t I want to continue doing something that makes me happy? It just doesn’t make sense. So before I get all pouty and crabby (more so than I currently am making myself) I will turn on some Pharrel and do a “Happy” dance at my desk.

Other things… book club is tonight! Woop woop! I think it’s going to be a smaller group tonight which is fine… once school is done for everyone that may make our groups bigger. Plus – once the weather gets better, we can start having some more meetings on patios! Sigh… patio season is upon us. For this meeting we read The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. If you haven’t read this book yet, DO IT. And bring tissues. If you have even an inkling of a soul, you will bawl your face off. I read it on a Saturday and the last 30 pages or so, I had constant tears flowing down my face. It was beautifully written, funny in the right places and sad in the others. Also – it was based on a true story. And any “based on a true story” books WILL end up on my list of “books I need in my life.” So many good movies-based-on-books coming out this year… I need to up my reading list to make sure I get them read before I watch the movie (my rule FOREVER.) Because the books are ALWAYS better than the movie. Always. 

As of late, I’ve been feeling… how do I put this… uninvolved. Which to some of you seems like a RIDICULOUS statement I should be making. With a full time job, part time job (only one now!), book club, weddings/showers/parties, etc. But then I also see some of my friends and the things that they are involved in… and I feel left out. Make sense? I like volunteering, I want to be on committees – I want to make a name for myself. In Des Moines there are so many opportunities to become a part of something, and I want to better myself in some way. While I was getting ready for work today, FoxNews was playing in the background (not my choice) and they had Blake Mycoskie – founder of TOMS – as their guest. Most of you know about or at least have a pair of TOMS shoes (I’m wearing mine right now) but I was unaware how far they’ve come since 2006. They’ve provided over 10 million pairs of shoes to children since then – and in 2011 they’ve restored sight to over 175,000 since launching TOMS Eyewear in 2011. And this year, TOMS Roasting Company was launched – their mission is to provide clean water to developing communities with the purchase of coffee, definitely something I can get behind. I mean – this guy… TOMS started as a small idea and now it’s a GLOBAL movement. And now he’s got a book out (that I totes want to read) and it’s called Start Something That Matters.

“My goal is to inspire others to go out and make a positive impact, to start something that matters to them.”

So maybe that’s my next goal. So many of my friends/family/co-workers/acquaintances are involved in SO MANY amazing things, I want what they have. I want to be involved. I want to better myself while helping others. Maybe another thing that made me want to be “better” was from watching Clueless a couple weeks ago. I know some of you are thinking – how in the F would Clueless make you want to be better? Well remember the part where Cher is trying to help Tai out? (Lord help us Paul Rudd and his baby face…) They decide to read one “non-school book a week” and do some Buns of Steel videos. Also – learning a new word to better yourself too. And then when Cher realizes she’s in love with Josh, she wants to help. She helps organize a relief fund so she can be “good” enough for Josh. Now ladies – I’m not saying you need to go out and change yourself for Paul Rudd (but really – he’s adorbs) but why wouldn’t you want to make yourself better? So for all the times that people said Clueless is the “dumbest movie ever” – maybe Cher can help you learn something.

“Always find time for the things that make you feel happy to be alive.”

Be happy,

S

Start the Countdown. 3... 2...1...

Well it has been a BUSY couple of weeks. I realize that I haven't written since mid-February (and I'm SO SORRY about that) but it has been CRAZY. Like for realz. I've moved into a new place, moved out of my old place, yoga'd my ass off, and still managed to follow my #whole30 trip. I'm pretty impressed with myself.
 
February has ended and March has began, and all is good. I'm making a new home my own - with a new roommate - and learning how to live with someone again. I mean - I LOVE living alone. It's probably one of the best things ever. You can watch whatever you want, eat whatever you want - and leave it out over night if you want, and at NO POINT while you live alone do you EVER have to wear pants. THAT may be the best part. I'm over a week in with my new roomie and all is good! While picking out new furniture (yipe!) and décor, we found out that we've got pretty similar taste. Which is SUPER convenient.
 
**TV TIMEOUT: I'm also watching the Oscars and I don't think I breathed AT ALL during Pink's performance of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Wow. Beautiful.
 
Back to the move...
 
Moving is a HUGE pain in the ass. Do we all agree? I think EVERY TIME I move - which has been EVERY YEAR SINCE I GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL - I think I should have someone move everything for me. Have I done that yet? Sure haven't. But a big thanks to family and friends who have helped me over the years - hopefully I've paid you in beer/coffee/pizza/breakfast/love enough since you've helped! But NEXT time I move, I will for REAL just hire someone to move my crap. And for real - HOW do you end up with so much accumulated crap over a year? I mean - I would hate to have to do that with a house that's been lived in for 20 YEARS. (Sorry Mom and Dad... I promise I'll come help you if you guys decide to move someday.) It just amazes me. I mean - when I was packing everything up, I had to UNPACK boxes from my closet that hadn't been dealt with since I moved in the year before. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN?! So crazy.
 
Let's see... I'll take a look back at my yoga journey next. I'm currently 13/20 (WAY far behind... I know I know.) But I've got until Friday to get my next 7. Tomorrow night I'm doubling up - so there's 14 and 15... and I've got the next 4 days to get the next 5. I did check someone in to PLY yesterday who had taken 40 CLASSES. Like for realz. I was super impressed. (Apparently I've been "super impressed a lot lately? I don't want to make excuses - but this moving thing certainly didn't help my class attendance. I'd be done by now if I didn't have the move. But I'm all moved now and I can focus on finishing up this challenge. I guess this challenge is a little longer than 30 days (those yogis never can get it done in a timely fashion...) which is totes fine with me. Friday night is our 20/30 Challenge party... which will be so fun. I love this community. They're so fun and community driven. After only being a part of this "community" for less than a year, it feels so much longer than that. I walk in for class and get greeted by name by the instructors, like I've been going there for YEARS. I love how community based they are - and now with my little tie-in to the community, I feel like it's even more a part of me.

After today, I only have THREE MORE DAYS left of my #whole30 challenge. Wednesday is my last day, and Thursday night - I'm going to have a drink. I know I'm supposed to slowly reintroduce certain foods slowly, but part of my wants to eat ALL THE BAD STUFF at once just to get it out of my system. But I definitely don't want to feel like shit either. That would be the worst. My reintroduction will be a longer process - a day with adding in dairy, two days back to my whole30 business, then a day of grains and two more of whole30. I can do this. Three days to go. I'm still feeling good though. I'm sleeping hard - even if I don't sleep as many hours, I'm waking up rested, my pants are fitting well, my complexion is brighter, and I just feel good. I feel proud of myself too. Honestly, I'd love to stick to this. I'd just want to tweak it a little - maybe not cut out grains completely, but definitely cut WAY back. I used to eat pasta multiple times a week, bread DAILY, and yogurt or cottage cheese for breakfast, lunch AND dinner. I would have a lot of sugar - remember, I've been named a Candy Monster - starting first thing in the morning with my coffee (I've gotten used to black coffee), continuing on through morning snacks, lunch, afternoon snacks, dinner, before bed snacks... yeesh. Cutting that sugar out made a HUGE difference. I figured I'd have headaches like whoa - but they never came. Which is pretty stellar.

These last few weeks have been a journey. A true journey. I'm proud of myself - I'm proud of my #whole30 buddy for going through this with me. I can't wait to celebrate with pizza and beer - even if it will make me feel like garbage. I deserve it. We all deserve a little cheat sometimes. I like how it's made me plan - and I'm totally not a planner when it comes to food. That's definitely a big change for me. I'd rather just grab and go - and with this, you really CAN'T do that. You can grab snacks... but never a real full meal. I like the planning aspect - and want to try and keep that up.

I challenge you to try this. It's hard - it's absolutely hard - but I didn't die. I feel BETTER than I did a month ago and that' feels AMAZING. Why not do something like that for yourself? Why wouldn't you want to feel even MORE amazing than you already do? Try it - you'll amaze yourself.

Peace and love,
S

WHOOOOOOOOOA We're HALFWAY There...

With days 14 and 15 done, I can’t say I have much to complain about. Sure I had to be sober when I went out with my friends on Saturday night – and before that I had to stare at the bun from my steak sandwich without eating it, but basically no complaints. I feel like I talk about food ALL THE TIME though. And for that – I apologize. But it’s just so good, and there’s so much GOOD stuff that I just can’t eat right now. So if you’re tired of my talking about food, don’t read my blog – or look at anything on Facebook or Instagram. #sorrynotsorry

After my full two weeks were done yesterday, I tried to be positive. I tried to think “I only have 16 more days to go!” instead of “I’m not even halfway done.” Day 14 was also a day of “firsts” for me. I made a pot roast for the first time with sweet potatoes and carrots – and it turned out pretty damn good. I may have overcooked it a little bit – so now next time I’ll know. I also opened up a pomegranate for the first time. I mean I had to google “what to do with a pomegranate” before I started, but I did it. And they’re pretty good actually. I also had NO IDEA what a pomegranate looked like inside, so I was totally surprised when it was literally JUST seeds. And that’s the part you eat. Mind = BLOWN. I put some in the freezer (apparently they last a while in there) and some in the fridge to make with smoothies and just a topper with my other berries. Not too shabby.

I also had been on a search for the last few days for tahini. I had no idea what it was either – Wikipedia had to fill me in. I wanted to find it because I had found a recipe for a salad (yes I needed a recipe for it) and tahini was in the dressing. I must have looked like a dummy wandering around Dahl’s and Gateway Market trying to find this stuff. All I could picture, was trying to find a ginger root type thing – but really I was not even CLOSE. Tahini is basically ground up sesame seeds turned into a paste. Anyway. I made up the dressing for this salad and I think it’s going to be pretty good. It kind of tastes peanuty, kind of, but a little sweeter. This salad should be pretty decent. I’m kind of excited to try it out. I also bought some almond butter to hopefully take the place of my peanut butter cravings these past couple weeks. Definitely has a grittier texture, and it was like $15 for the tub of it, but it may be worth it. And a source told me that if I buy it from HyVee and grind it myself then it will be cheaper. It kind of looks like dog turds but I bet it tastes good!

I’m 9 classes in on my 20/30 challenge – and I have a confession to make. Yesterday – I was grumpy. It’s possible it was because the devil children were up and running around at 6 am, or it could have been because someone had a cold and was “dying” and I didn’t get to see them. It’s also possible – that it’s because I hadn’t done any yoga for two days. I feel like I’d been pretty relaxed and go-with-the-flow for the last couple weeks and I think taking two days off in a row really made me realize just how good it was for me. So once I got my yoga in last night I immediately relaxed. Yesterday’s intention was “love.” And above all else – love yourself. Love yourself for coming to your mat, for attempting crane instead of crow, for clearing your head and being present. Just love yourself.

I’m going to be making a change this weekend… moving out of my one bedroom apartment where I live by myself, into a place with someone else. I have to get rid of all my “living alone” habits and remember that someone else will be there too. Someone who doesn’t leave clothes on the floor and someone who doesn’t hit the snooze button 6 times before crawling out of bed. This will be a big change for me. And I’m really, REALLY excited about it. Plus – this new place has a pool and hot tub – so there’s that. Of course I’m a little nervous, but it’s going to be great. And then we get to decorate it and furnish it together – and that really excites me. And I have someone to share coffee with in the morning – even if it will be plain ol’ black coffee for another couple weeks.

Let’s check the count again:

15/30 - #whole30 – I’M HALFWAY DONE!

9/20 - #PLY2030 – I’M HALFWAY DONE! (after tomorrow anyway)

I won’t know what to do once my 30 days are up. Maybe I’ll go back to being lazy and eating crappy, or I’ll keep ideals from both and be so much happier. Only time will tell…

Love yourself,

S