Just - Blah.

I knew waking up today that it wasn't going to be the best day I've ever had. Sure - not the worst, but not even CLOSE to an above average awesomeness day. I was way too cozy to get out of bed - I mean, I could hear the rain coming down, I could feel Toby curled up on my feet, and there was just NO CHANCE I would be getting out of bed to do anything productive. So I stayed curled up in bed a little bit too long - all my fault, I know - and then had to rush around to get moving. I needed to make coffee, pack a lunch and dinner (double shift Monday) and also get stuff for work tonight. I got everything ready just in time to walk out the door and forget my umbrella. Oh well - I've done it before. Plus my galoshes were in my car - good place for them since I had to step through puddles and mud to get to my car. Whatevs - today will still be a good day. And then I realize that there is precipitation happening and I remember that EVERYONE out on the road (except for me of course) forgets how to drive when there water in any shape or form on the roads. So basically - idiots everywhere. Slamming on breaks, driving 10 under the speed limit, and just being a pain in my ass. So glad I'm perfect.

Made it to work with plenty of time to spare - came in and realized that no one had turned the phones over on Friday to the answering service... which basically means anyone who called in wouldn't get transferred to the on-call doc. First "F" bomb of the day. PS - this was at 7:45. Good start. Well we didn't have any angry voicemails - thank goodness - so that made me feel better. Then Chatty Cathy came in and I just wasn't feeling it. I was crabby and tired already, and didn't feel like having a loud, unnecessary conversation just quite yet. Mama hasn't had her coffee yet - give me an hour. But did I get an hour? Sure didn't. By 8:45 I had already thought about punching three people, threatened to "Office Space" the copy machine, and actually told someone I'd slit their throat. Slightly aggressive. Then to make matters worse - I get to cover for everyone else. Okay not EVERYONE else - but enough people that I'm getting a little sick of it. So here I go, up to the phone room - aka dungeon - until we have clinic at 11. NONSTOP PHONE CALLS. I was nearly in tears after 5 calls because the phone wouldn't stop ringing. (Chalk that up to PMS... thanks Mother Nature... you bitch) So anyway - millions of calls. Then I find out clinic gets moved to one so I'm stuck in the dungeon for another hour and a half. WAHHHHHHH. By this point I'm slamming my pen, banging on my desk, and dropping at least one "F" bomb each time the phone rang. I quit keeping track of those. When I finally got to leave - I was super crabby. Went down to have some leftover pizza from Fong's and a salad (womp womp) and during that time - find out our clinic has been cancelled. Well shit. I'm crossing my fingers that the dungeon has slowed down and I'm not needed. Silly me.

Back up to the dungeon for the rest of the day. Damn near as busy as this morning. I was screaming at the phone by the end of the day. There were two of us in there and we were both about ready to lose it. Not a pretty sight. I had groups of notes to task out to people, and couldn't get a spare minute to get it done. I had to turn off my phone for a minute so I could get all caught up. How obnoxious.

After finally finishing there for the day - I am NOT in a good mood. Once I got to job #2 for the day I actually had a couple people ask me what's wrong. Note to self: stop frowning, otherwise I'll need Botox by 30. Not pretty. Plus - frown lines are way less attractive than laugh lines. Tonight there are just a ton of rude people and people who don't know what's going on. And they all come at the same time. I felt like a brat but I was so over this day by 10 am that I'm just barely making it through right now.

Then to be even more bratty - I was at the point where I was saying rude things on purpose, taking it personally when someone talks about their great job (thinking they're obviously taking a jab at my shit jobs) and just feeling like everyone is way better than me. I'm hoping that it's just a "case of the Mondays" and I'll be back to normal tomorrow... but we will see. Also - I think that if someone told me I had a case of the Mondays today I probably would punch them directly in the face. Definitely that kind of day.

I even downloaded new books today! That should have put me in a great mood! But leading up to that, my "books to read" list had somehow gotten deleted from my phone. So wah wah for me. And after resetting my email password tonight my phone kept telling me I had the wrong password. So that almost got thrown through the window. Basically - I just need to go back to bed, and hope tomorrow is a better day.

So my quick quote for the day - straight up and to the point. A good thought to get you through a shitty day:

"Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit."

Now that I'm done with my crap day - I'll just forget about it. Today happened, it sucked, but oh well. I'll get over it and tomorrow WILL be better. Because I say it will be. And what I say - goes.

Peace out homies,

S

PS - I'm sorry if I threatened you today. I was grouchy and probably hungry. And sleepy. So - sorry about that. I don't think I meant it. Unless you were being a dumb ass - then I probably did. That is directed toward YOU, idiot drivers.

No Excuses, Have Faith

I had an entry all written last Monday – and as I went to post it, the internet pooped out on me. I got annoyed – because when technology doesn’t work, it is clearly cause for a tantrum. I went back and read it and was slightly disappointed. Real boring. So I’m actually glad that it didn’t post. Thanks for having crap internet, Aspen – sometimes I appreciate you cutting corners.

It’s the beginning of week four of D2D4. Three LSD’s in the books and 6 more practice runs before the big run. This past weekend was 6 miles, and it went pretty well – despite the fact that it was 30 degrees when we started at 5:10 am. I think by the time we finished running it had warmed up to like 40, but still. Brr. This Saturday is 8-mile… which means I obviously need to brush up on my Eminem so I can have a good run. And then later – I can win a freestyle rap competition. Obviously. But back to the running – I need to do my weekly workouts and runs… doing one run a week isn’t going to get me in shape. I wish it would – but alas, that is not the case. I also wish I could eat and drink whatever I want and never workout but still have a rockin bod. Apparently that’s not how it works. So I will work on eating better, working out consistently, and not making up excuses. I know that getting a workout in before work will make me feel good – I just have to get my ass up. So my 5 am alarm that went off today, immediately got shut off. So did my 6 am alarm. Finally decided to roll out of bed at 6:45 so I could get up and make my coffee, pack my lunch, and get ready for a double shift of work today. But tomorrow – no excuse. Who cares that I’m getting home at nearly 11 pm? No one. I need to just man up and get to class. I’m paying for it – and I don’t need to be wasting my money. Running is free – as well as my gym membership from working here. But the one I’m actually PAYING FOR, is the one I should be going to on a regular basis. So the note I’m putting on my mirrors when I get home – NO EXCUSES. I’ll keep you updated on the status of my non-excuses. This could be fun.

I’m finally moved into my place – and actually have decorations on the walls. It doesn’t look like a squatter lives there now. FINALLY. I also made my first BIG purchase last week – a new TV! I listened to all of your advice, ignored some, and did some research. I had a shopping buddy to assist me in the process of what to get, what not to get, etc. and ended up with a 40 inch Phillips Smart TV. Target (of all places) was having a temporary price cut on it and I actually felt comfortable buying this one. Maybe it’s because it’s from Target, and you could sell me nearly ANYTHING from Target – or maybe it was the fact that it was a “smart” TV and I thought I would be smart enough to use it. So far so good – it hooks up to my wireless nicely and I’ve watched three seasons of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. It’s much nicer than watching on my laptop – plus I can now sit on Pinterest AND watch my shows, all at the same time! Technology is fun. When it works. And when it doesn’t work, I want to go Office Space on that piece of crap machine. Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

This weekend I had roughly a 6-hour long conversation with a lovely friend. I roadtripped down south to Arispe (it’s a legit town, there’s a bar AND a church) to spend some time before this lovely lady becomes a mama – any day now J It felt nice to take some time off from my busy life to spend some time with my long distance partner in crime. Not so much anymore – after baby things will have to change. Lame. I’m not sure why everyone is getting married and having babies… BORING! Just kidding friends… I love you all J We talked books, drama, TV shows, and shared a pizza. Just like old times – minus the wine. These are fun talks though… love having phone dates and day dates with my friends that I haven’t seen in a while. The saying is absolutely true – “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Even if I don’t see these awesome friends of mine the way I used to, I still love them when they’re away. And then when I see them again, it’s like we just saw each other. That’s true friendship. I love my friends. Have I said that before? Maybe once or twice… maybe.

I currently have a list going of little things to do as the weather gets warmer. I’m so sick of this stupid weather – I need to get OUT and spend some time in the great outdoors. So here is my next project for you, dear readers. I’d like suggestions of things to do OUTSIDE, and places to visit where I’m able to spend time out of the air conditioning (and at this point – the damn heated indoors.) So any outdoor things – I’m ready to hear what you’ve all got to say. I’d also like suggestions for indoor things that I may not have thought of – like an art exhibit, concerts, etc. But please – lots and lots of suggestions J

One more thing I ask of you on this brisk Monday evening… your favorite book. I’ve got an ongoing list of books I want to read, but am always looking to lengthen and expand that list. I’ve got genres that are my “go-to’s” (remember Kayla – they will NEVER know what that means) and I’m also terrible at judging books by their covers. I know – a TERRIBLE thing to do, but sometimes the cover speaks for the book. So – another thing for you to do for me. I’m really excited to see what my avid, loyal readers like to read J

IT’S QUOTE TIME! I know you’ve been waiting for it. I try not to direct these toward a specific group, but today it seems as if this is meant for my generation of girls. Boys too I suppose, but mostly for the girls. We are at the age where our friends are “growing up” at different rates, and sometimes it feels like we are lagging behind. Maybe it’s because we haven’t bought a house, gotten engaged, bought a pet, have an awesome career, purchased a car, etc. Maybe it’s because we’ve had a major setback in our lives. Maybe it’s because we don’t have a clear goal of what we want to be when we “grow up.” I know many times I’ve said that I’m “faking” being a grown up, or I can hardly take care of my cat so how am I going to start a family. I also don’t know how many times I’ve heard “I need to get married and have kids, I’m getting to that age.” Sometimes my life isn’t as “together” as I’d like it to be – but ya know what? Oh well. One of these days I’ll be a real life, true adult, but until then – meh. I’m going to enjoy it. I saw this quote and it made me smile and relax a little bit. Abby Larson – founder and editor of Style Me Pretty – explains “life” right now for me, pretty damn perfectly.

“Breathe, my friend. You are not old, you are young. You are not a mess, you are normal. Extraordinary, perhaps. In the blink of an eye your life will change. And it will continue to change for decades to come. Enjoy it, embrace it… be grateful for the ride. You are not old, you are young. And faith will get you everywhere. Just you wait.”

So that’s where my head is these days. I’m only 26 – I’m still in my mid-20s, not “mid-to-late-20s” and I still have time to play. I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I have faith that I’ll figure it out. I haven’t found my niche yet… but I will. It may not be this year – it may not be in five years. But it will happen. My one goal in life is to be happy. I want to live happily ever after, with whatever my life is. When I am truly happy with everything in my life, I’ll know. And I won’t be able to stop smiling.

So have some faith. Your life isn’t over if you haven’t figured out where to go next. It is just the beginning of a wonderful, beautiful, crazy adventure. Enjoy it. Relish in it. Grow from it.

Hanging by a moment,

S