Stop and Look -

**Disclaimer: The first portion of this post is going to be negative. If you don’t want to read about me being a crybaby, Negative Nancy… please skip ahead to paragraph 3** Not usually how I roll – but it’s happening. I’m a little mad at myself. First of all – I haven’t posted since March – and it’s now almost mid-April. That’s annoying. I’ve got time to do this – so why don’t I just freaking do it? Because I just don’t. Second of all – I’m mad at myself about the #whole30. I was SO HAPPY to be done with it, that instead of slowly easing my way back into eating normal foods, I just dove head first into EVERYTHING I used to eat. And I apparently forgot what portion control was. I’m eating like crap, I’m drinking pop, I’m eating candy and other sweets like I’m dying tomorrow, and I feel like GARBAGE. I’m eating too late (I’ve been busy also), and eating TOO MUCH too late. I’m waking up in the middle of the night, I’m having weird dreams. I’m barely going to yoga/working out, I’m not drinking NEARLY enough water. I’m making excuses for EVERYTHING. And I really don’t like it.

I think part of the reason that it’s making me so upset, is because I’m currently reading The Happiness Project – our book club read for the month – and everything I read in there, I think that I NEED TO DO IT. I want to start my own happiness project, because at this very point in my life – I am making choices that are upsetting me. And no one wants that. Don’t get me wrong – I am VERY happy with the majority of my life. I love my job (albeit crazy sometimes), I love my friends and family, I love my new living situation and love my roommate so much. I love that I’m going to be trying new things this summer and expanding my horizons with music, yoga, adult beverages. But RIGHT NOW, I’m a crabby bitch. I looked at myself in the morning today and was totally appalled at the GIANT bags under my eyes. Plus – my skin is breaking out, I feel “dull” and not “bright” when looking at my complexion, my lovely muffin top has returned. And it really pisses me off because literally I am the ONLY one in charge of me. I am the one that is making me feel that way. and I am the one who needs to change it.

**Paragraph 3** Let’s get back to the happy and fun stuff. Like I said – book club! This book is amazing and I love reading it. I’m also in the process of reading Start Something That Matters with a girl who I work with (who works in our corporate office) and we have a deadline of Friday to finish it up so we can discuss. I like being able to discuss books with so many people. My book club is one of my FAVORITE things ever… and I’m so glad our small group is growing! Our first four person meeting was awesome… we ended up staying WAY later than planned but had such good chats – about the book, about each other, about wine – everything. Our group has FOR SURE changed in the last year and some months… and I couldn’t be happier about it.

Wedding season is upon us, and has been for about a month now! The first bachelorette party of the season was the weekend after I finished up my #whole30 and I was a super lightweight. And I stole Doritos from the hotel room (sorry about that girls) but it was definitely a lot of fun. Then I had bridal showers two weekends in a row. And this weekend is the first wedding of the season! I’m so excited to see all my friends getting married to the loves of their lives. It makes me very happy. I’ve got a break on wedding festivities until May when I’ve got an empty weekend, then a bachelorette party (baseball, beer and bachelorettes anyone?), then a weekend off, then a Memorial Day Weekend bachelorette party, and then wedding number 2 the following weekend. And then a few weeks, and then wedding number 3. And then I’m done with weddings! I don’t mind all those being shoved into a few months, they’re amazing and exhausting all at the same time. I’ll need some recovery time.

The possible highlight of my summer comes in July. Why you ask? Multiple reasons. First off: a road trip to Colorado. Second: a yoga retreat. Third: A ROAD TRIP TO COLORADO FOR A YOGA RETREAT! Driving 13 hours has never sounded so fun! I’ve never been to Colorado when there wasn’t snow on the ground, and I’m SO EXCITED to see how gorgeous it looks in the summer. A full day of driving to Aspen, followed by four days of yoga, concerts, hikes, meditation and I don’t even know what else, and then another 13 hour drive home. Totes worth it. I’m ready to let my inner-hippie out to play. My idea was to camp while we were there too, but my roomie would much rather sleep in a bed and shower after all that outdoor activity. Who knew I was such a bad ass? The planning stages begin this week – and then I still have to wait for 3 months to go! So unfair. This is something that I don’t think I would have ever done. Spend 4 days with people I’ve never met, doing something I like to do? Yeah – no. I’d rather not. I’m so excited to step outside my comfort zone.

“Great things never came from comfort zones.”

I’d like to apologize for being crabby earlier… but it’s just taken a few things to trigger that annoyance, unhappiness, grouchiness. And it’s only ME that can change the way I feel. I’m going for a run after work today with my running buddy. We’ll talk and laugh and try not to die – but I guarantee that when I’m done with my two laps at Gray’s Lake, I’ll feel better. I’ll be in a better mood. I’ll be smiling. It’s so simple the way a little bit of exercise can put you in a better mood. And that’s just the start.

“Always find time for the things that make you feel happy to be alive.”

Peace out everybody – remember, YOU are the only one to make YOU happy.

Stop and Look,

S